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A Moment to Reflect

March 23rd, 2010 Justin 6 comments

Life at a cat shelter is never static.  I went out of town for three days this weekend, and came back to find that eight cats had been adopted and eleven new ones admitted to take their place.  Those are just numbers, of course…it’s rare that we are able to appreciate the stories behind the numbers.  If ever there were a time for me to step back and reflect on the impact of the work we do here, though, it would be this one.

I was in California for a memorial service.  My grandfather passed away last Fall, and the family was only now, at the beginning of Spring, finally able to gather together and scatter his ashes in Monterey Bay.  I won’t go into the emotional impact this trip or his passing had on me, but I will say (and perhaps I should apologize for the cliché) that my grandfather was pivotal in making me the person I am.  Above everything, he valued his capacity to care for his friends and family, and he seldom if ever expected anything in return.

My job in the Tree House Clinic has given me the ability to exercise the values that he passed on to me and to all the people who loved him.  While I am by no means the sort of magnanimous man that my grandfather was, I like to think that the work I do here would make him proud, that by caring for sick and injured beings (even though they may not be human beings), I am increasing my capacity to do the occasionally thankless business of sacrificing myself in some way for the good of others, something he never stopped doing.

Of course, I should temper this high praise for my own work with some harsh modesty:  I often get incredibly tired of my job; I think we all do.  Every day we see illness and death, an overpopulation problem that seems hopeless, a public that largely does not understand or care about the things we do, and an economy that cannot support non-profit organizations’ abilities to operate at anything but a bare-bones level.  It’s tiring, frustrating, and sometimes incredibly difficult work, and I say that not to pat myself on the back for doing it, but to reiterate that these moments when I am reminded of its value are few and far between.

I’m working toward vet school right now, trying to maintain my sanity as I struggle through monotonous science classes, and trying to keep in my sight that some day, as a veterinarian, I might be able to make a difference in the lives of both animals and their caregivers for decades to come.  But as the stress of this hypothetical career path mounts, I forget that, to a lesser extent, I’m already serving that same purpose.

Those eight cats that were adopted while I was away:  some of them weren’t eating on their own in their time here and had to be syringe-fed by clinic workers so they wouldn’t take ill and die; some of them were terrified by humans and had to be coaxed and calmed by Tree House employees and volunteers before they stood a chance at finding homes; some of them had and still have serious illnesses, and wouldn’t have stood a chance at survival if left on the streets from which we took them in.

Those eleven cats that we admitted:  perhaps some of them won’t make it, but they probably all will; they’ll probably live to find homes, to find happiness, and to serve as loyal (if fussy and feline) companions to those who adopt them, and they’ll need our help and patience along the way.

So, in short, I guess the work is only thankless if I make it that way.  I can choose to focus on the negative, as I so often find myself doing, or I can take comfort in the fact that, as my grandfather would have wanted, I’m doing a bit (if only a small, cat-sized bit) of good in the world.

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Accountability at Work

January 22nd, 2010 Justin 2 comments

I got my yearly review at work today.

It was…not stellar.

At the same time, though, it was one of the best reviews I’ve gotten in my working life.  And one of the main reasons is that I agreed with the constructive criticism given to me rather than taking it as harsh judgment and becoming defensive.

The main complaints:

  • My attendance is not that great, because there have been several occasions of my not looking closely at the posted schedule.  Yes:  I’m a disorganized kind of guy.  This is something I’m working very, very hard to improve.  Hopefully by this time next year, nothing along these lines will have happened since today.
  • My attitude has not been as positive in regards to work.  This seems (in my supervisors’ opinions) to have gotten worse since I started school.  That makes good sense to me; my stress level has gone through the roof in the last seven months, and I’ve stopped being able to enjoy work as much.  If you’ll recall, this was one of the reasons I started this blog:  in the hopes that writing about motivation and determination as they related to work and wages would help me feel positive about the other aspects (i.e. ethical, emotional) of my job that I enjoy.
  • My initiative is good, but I have trouble with follow-through because I’m easily side-tracked.  My mind is all over the place.  Again, they observe that this has gotten worse since school started, and I’m not surprised by that.  I’ve always been somewhat easily distractable, and…(ooh, what’s that shiny thing on the other side of the room?)
  • Sorry, I’m back.  Anyway, moving on:  I was faulted on “good judgement” for similar reasons; specifically, my time management needs work.  This is another aspect of myself that seems to be improving as my interest in all matters grown-up increases:  along with my budgeting and saving, my time management has improved tremendously in the last month.  So, yes, it’s an issue, but I’ve already started working on it.

And then it was mostly very flattering compliments to finish off the review…making the criticisms much easier to handle.  Or at least easier to absorb.

The interesting thing that occurred to me (halfway through the review, when I wandered off mentally to think about writing this blog entry…just kidding) is that this review of my employment is a very accurate review of my life, too.  All of the above points are issues in my personal, social, and financial lives, as well as in my work life.  Disorganization, distractability, and poor foresight?  These are the reasons I ever developed financial problems to begin with.

So, I did something as in keeping with my newfound enthusiasm for accountability as I could think of:  I asked for periodic reminders from my supervisors if I was failing to improve any of the criticisms.  If I start slipping into pessimism or (god forbid) ditziness, I want to be reminded that I promised I’d work on fixing these issues.

If I’m going to devote so much writing time to asserting accountability upon myself, why not extend that into my work life, too?

Categories: Accountability, Work Tags: